Sudha's Snack :

Just a Girl Please; Hold the Mayo

by Sudha Narasimhan

My parents never use my name when addressing me. I am known as “girl”. “Girl, can you hand me a towel?”, “Girl, I need to talk to you”, and my favorite, “Where is the girl?” These statements have definitely helped to reaffirm my gender, but have not helped me to understand this gender-based schism that exists in Indian families. I have never heard my uncles or aunties call their sons “ boy”. I realize my parents call me girl at times due to innocuous translation issues or convenience, but sometimes I think they call me girl because culturally, women are not individualized, unlike men. Instead, women are lumped together, as one entity, with no access to their uniqueness. We are just girls. Why even name us, then?  Just call us Girl #1, 2, or 25.

Being called girl is almost likened to being called “thing”. When you are only identified by your gender, you feel stripped of all of the individual qualities that make you unique and human. Your name symbolizes so much of your identity- without it, you are not only just nameless, you are also devoid of personality, individuality, and character. When my parents do not call me by my name, I feel dehumanized.

I know female infanticide has always been an issue in India. If you ask some couples all over the world, particularly in Asia, they will acknowledge they prefer a male child over a female child.  Male children are preferred due to their strength, status in society, and ability to provide for future generations. Female children are considered a liability, a burden, something to give away. At my cousin’s wedding, when my cousin’s wife was being led into the car for her honeymoon, all of the aunties were crying. “ Oh, she now belongs to his family now”, said one aunty. What is my cousin’s wife; an heirloom? A piece of land? Can’t she just be a part of both families, and be a whole individual at the same time? I don’t know. I am feeling rather annoyed at this kind of mentality, and I prove more and more over time how I am removed from classical Indian society. What does it take for Indian families to enjoy the idea of femininity and not ostracize, kill, or dehumanize the girls of our world because they are not male? Now Mom or Dad calls me girl, I just ignore them. After all, I do have a name.