Help! There's a Republican in My Bed!
In the advent of one of the most historic elections of our lifetimes, whose impact will no doubt have global implications, after careful thought and much deliberation you finally summon the courage to ask yourself a question of grave importance: “can I really date this person with different political affiliations?”
Granted, at any other point in history the question may seem trivial, even closed-minded. But I would argue that in the face of clear evidence that one’s political ideals (especially when combined with a ridiculously idiotic presidency, let’s say, hypothetically), can have a very tangible effect on the world’s economy, the loss of countless lives in warfare, our carbon footprint, and more importantly, our ability to continue to afford over-priced, but oh-so-yummy coffee. Thus, someone’s political allegiances, if deliberately chosen, can and do, say a lot about them.
I’ll admit that once or twice I have found myself completely intrigued by a perfectly dateable person with the wrong politics (as in, different than mine), but each time I opted not to date them out of fear that I would inevitably strangle them in their sleep. After all, these days someone’s politics can mean the difference between believing that dinosaurs were here four thousand years ago, or that global warming is a divine occurrence signaling the end of days, or simply being sane enough NOT to.
What’s the big deal you say? I mean, if Maria Schriver and Arnold Schwartzneggar can do it then why can’t I? Well, you can, but the truth is that any good relationship must be based on real compatibility. There must be a shared way of viewing the world as well as its social constructs and institutions, such that you feel that someone finally gets you. It’s virtually impossible to have that kind of common bond with someone who you may completely disagree with on major political issues. I personally would rather stick needles in my eyes than to have to find commonalities with someone whose politics I don’t agree with. Although I may have independent respect for their viewpoints, sharing my time, innermost thoughts, goals and fears, and possibly my life with them is another thing entirely.
So, the next time you’re sucking face with someone at a bar, or any other random spot, consider that the rush you may get when passionately arguing politics may be short-lived. Depending how they cast their vote on that crucial morning in November, you’ll want to either have their babies or orchestrate their inexplicable and sudden demise.
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