Warning: Facebook Can Ruin
Your Lovelife!
So you finally meet Mr/Miss Right (for the moment anyway) and
everything is just peachy. Perhaps you met him/her at a chance encounter
or through mutual friends. In any event, you feel your life was changed
forever with the prospect that this could finally be the "one."
After all, they look and smell lovely, they laugh at all the jokes that
your friends have banned you from telling, they poke fun of your dancing
in the sweetest of ways, and they actually think that your you-know-what
in your you-know-where is absolutely adorable. But then, the ultimate
question in this virtual era inevitably pops-up . . . "Do you have a
My Space/ Facebook/ JD/ Mi Gente/ Match/ Big & Beautiful
page/profile?"
Suddenly, you freeze and wonder if you can get to a computer
before they can in order to clean-up anything that you may not want them
to know about you just yet. Or, what if they erroneously think that your
bigillion half-naked drinking pics make you look like a lush, or think
that your Ninjas v. Pirates application on Facebook is the lamest thing
ever? Or worse, what if the thought of making yet another new
relationship "public" on your page for all to see, after having done
so in one-too-many failed relationships, simply makes you break-out in
hives? You attempt to play it cool, ignoring the sweat bubbling up on
your forehead, and somehow manage to say: "Oh (gulp), can you repeat
the question?"
You see, gone are the days of wearing someone's ring, pin,
sweater, tattoo, hicky, or prison jump-suit to indicate that you are
"official" or "going steady." In this highly technological
era, marking one's territory comes in the form of making your
relationship public online, whether it be on your virtual "page" of
choice, or in taking down your profile page on a dating site to indicate
that you're off the market. Otherwise, failing to modify your online
"persona" when in a new relationship can cost you dearly when your Mr/Miss Right turns into Mr/Miss WTF is your problem?, and I'm
not just talking about bees in your pillow. It's much worse!
The most confident among us can become incredibly insecure when
our new love refuses to make us as "public" online as we would like.
We somehow feel entitled to know why we're not on their "top
friends", who is that tramp dropping comments and inside jokes and why
on earth are her boobs so big? On the other hand, the most
well-intentioned among us can become incredibly reluctant to expose our
bleeding hearts and let the world know that we're once again taking a
shot at love with yet another person. Do we really have to create a
sparkling picture slide-show of us kissing? Isn't it enough that I'm
at your place every weekend, that I fold your laundry because I know how
much you hate it and that I allow you to cook me breakfast in exchange
of "special" massages? What does my online persona have to do with
anything anyway?
The way I see it, after an informal poll of a grossly
unscientific number of 20-something year-old interns at work, ok three -
the truest indicator of how soon you should alter your online persona
and make your relationship public all depends on whether or not you've
had "The Talk." Although other factors may include how long you've
been dating, how active each of you is on their page/profile, or what
the page's purpose is; as a good rule of thumb the decision should
turn on whether or not someone had the brass Cojones to bring-up the
"I-really-like-you-and-want-you-all-for-myself-Talk." At that
point, you've either decided to abandon ship or stay put with a life
jacket and bottle of Jack Daniels for the ride. Thus, if you've done
the latter, it only makes sense to engage with your new love fully and
whole-heartedly. Yes folks, even if it means telling the virtual world
that you can't come out to play in the same way anymore, or
de-activating your "SexyBeast" profile on Match because you're
diving into love again, and this time for real- well, maybe.
Peace!
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